Leaving Behind Sanity
by KoolJack1
Summary: Edward's POV- His last days on earth...as a human..Bad summary, R&R please!


1

No pain could ever equal what I was going through now. Fever raged through my veins, burning all the way to my core. My existence had dwindled down to a corpse of a body laying on a bed. The only indication that I was still alive was the hacking coughs and groans of pain. I would never get to live my life, it would end here, on this bed, at age seventeen. I would never grow old, never have a family, never get married. I was alone, except for my feeble mother not three feet away, she was also on her death bed.

My mother was much stronger then I. She could still get out of bed, and she took every chance she had to nurse me. My condition was worse then hers, far worse. My body ached, it seemed that every part of my body had something to complain about. Sleep was the only activity I had energy for, and I often was awaken by a burning in my chest and a hacking cough. I always felt worse when I first opened my eyes from a long sleep. My throat burned more fiercely, my lips were dry and stuck together, sweat caked my body and stuck me to the sheets and my eyes burned and watered.

My dear mother would sit in a wheelchair, sickly herself, as much time as she could. She replaced the wet towel on my head when the heat from my forehead dried the current one, she held my hand when the pain became to much, when all I wanted was to scream in agony and frustration, but the illness only let me whimper. Carlisle had told her many times that nursing me was only decreasing her condition, but nothing anyone said could make her leave my side.

When my father came down with the epidemic not to long ago, my mother knew that it was only a short matter of time before her and I also became ill. She tried to prepare me for it, tried to do everything she could to prevent it, even though she knew in her heart there was no hope. She got sick first and I followed a few days later. She didn't wait this time and got us both admitted to the best hospital in the city, though it would do us no good. I could hardly open my eyes anymore, the spinning room making my head pound. Any food or liquid that entered my body was regurgitated, my body rejected everything it was given.

One night I woke to my mother leaning over me, her tears rolling off my her face and landing softly on her cheeks. Both her hands clutched my right one and I gave hers a weak squeeze, that was all I could muster. The slight movement hurt, but I had to communicate with her some how. I felt worse then ever now, sicker then every before, and I didn't have the faintest notion that was possible. Her cloudy blue eyes locked on mine, and I could see directly into them, she knew I was at the end of my rope. I let the corner of my lips pull up in a gentle smile and closed my eyes again.

Finally, the end was here, she knew it and I knew it. I couldn't wait much longer, I was eager to end this pointless life I was living. I was just suffering now, there was no reason for me to take up a hospital bed that could be used by someone who had a fighting chance. My mother's arms draped over me and she sobbed against me.

"No Edward, don't give up." Her voice was more harsh then I remembered it. She had spoken to me before I fell asleep, it wasn't as sickly sounding then, how long was I sleeping for? A cough ripped from my chest, aggravating my burning throat and the sting in my chest. I squeezed my eyes closed and waited for the pain to subside some. Breathing was getting harder and harder with each passing second. My vision narrowed and more hacking coughs erupted from my weak body until my throat closed completely. All I could hear was the sound of my heart, throbbing at a pace that was unhuman. The muffled screams of my mother frightened me, the raw intensity of her voice was shocking.

"Dr. Carlisle, you do everything you, I know you have the power to save my son, you **will **save him!"

I was chocking on the built up fluid in my lungs, the oxygen I was attempting to inhale stirred the water and closed my throat. A cold set of hands held my face still; tilting my head back and forcing my jaw open. A long plastic tube was forced into my resistant mouth, lodging its way down my throat. I fought the cold set of hands with my little strength, but it was a lost battle. I felt the tube slide down my throat and into my lungs and I was breathing. The commotion settled down around me and the cold hands relieved their pressure one my jaw, but didn't leave my face. They moved up, running through my hair.

"You know Edward, your not going to die here in this hospital, I promised you and your mother I wouldn't have it." I didn't have to open my eyes to know who that musical voice belonged to, Dr. Carlisle. I wanted more then anything to believe his words, but he couldn't control life or death, no matter how good of a doctor he was.

I didn't even notice I had fallen asleep until I woke up to the sound of someone standing next to me. The tube was still in place, helping me breathe, and I didn't try to fight it, it was useless.

"Nurse, time of death 2:23am." _Time of death?_ The voice belonged to Carlisle, and so did the sigh that followed. He turned to stand over me, even without out my eyes open I could still feel his presence standing over me.

"Poor young Edward, you may be alone in the world now, but I promise you, I will not let you die, your mother's last request was for me to save you, and I plan on doing just that." He must have known I was awake or he wouldn't have spoken so loud for fear of waking me. I knew what his words meant, they meant that my loving mother was gone. She was relieved from her suffering, and I never got to even say good-bye. She knew how much I loved her, at least I hope she did. Tears fell from my closed eyes and I felt Carlisle's hands brush them away for me.

"Dear Edward, don't cry, your mother put up a good fight, and her suffering is over now." I let the lull of Carlisle's cool hands on my face relax me but I couldn't stop the tears of sadness from flowing. I forced my eyes open, despite my bodies groan in protest. My stare met Carlisle's, his eyes were full of sadness and pity.

"Let me die." It was the first words I had spoken during our whole stay in the hospital. My voice was harsh from the lack of use and it hurt to speak, but I had to talk now, use the last of my energy to make my request.

"Your so young Edward, I wish there was some other way, but I do have something that will keep you alive, well, almost alive." I met his eyes curiously and a gentle smile touched his lips.

"Edward I have the power to give you everlasting life, and I am going to grant you this because you have a gift to offer the world, you are a good person." I let Carlisle's words set in. Surely he was just crazy, no one had that power, right? My mind raced, considering his words and the possibilities they offered. My head ache got worse and I groaned, shutting my eyes as the colors of the rooms walls all swirled together into a canvas mixture.

"Your pain will go away soon Edward, just trust me, I am going to save you." With that he yelled to a nurse.

"Nurse! Time of death 3:30am." Next thing I knew I was in his arms, and we were flying.


End file.
